In May a lovely couple from England came to stay for a much needed break after a hectic lambing season. The Pijjery was looking absolutely stunning with super white crisp clean sheets, a bathroom so shiny it didn’t need any lights; a beautiful cottage garden in bloom and just glorious weather. In the fridge sat a jar of freshly made salsa verde along with one of the recently worked on and perfected Caesar salads and the most wicked, most divine, decadent and very, very naughty Baked Vanilla Cheesecake. A smug sigh of satisfaction could be heard echoing around Easterknowe. We were professional, organised, understated and calm.
We were on top of our game…or so I thought!
On their first day, our guests decided to explore Traquair gardens and maze. I smiled confidently (without showing off) as they effused about the Pijjery and how everything was just perfect.
As they disappeared down the drive, the new robot, J Edgar (Hoover) started to clean the floors. Wow, they’d be impressed to find clean floors on their return. The Pijjery might just get another five-star review.
On our ‘PG’s (Paying guests) return, I walked across to the Pijjery with them to switch on the sauna and put the sun shades up. To my horror, J Edgar had gone absolutely berserk.
A pair of fluorescent shorts had been left on the floor, he’d tried to gobble them up and was spinning them around like a whirling dervish. Naturally, the floor was exceedingly shiny, nothing seems to clean floors like a deranged robot with a pair of stolen shorts.
Like a Labrador with a log, J Edgar refused to give up his swag! Kneeling on the floor of the Pijjery while bemused PG’s looked on didn’t seem like the most professional thing to do, so J Edgar was unceremoniously removed. As I stomped across the lawns with the disgraced robot still clutching the shorts in his ‘jaws’, the three real labradors looked on knowingly.
Our ‘CEO’ aka husband was happily munching away on his lunch at the kitchen table as the errant robot and his trophy was plonked angrily on the table in front of him.
The CEO sighed. Life in the corporate world really was so much easier. Half an hour later, J Edgar gave up the shorts. They were returned to their rightful owner, and J Edgar? He’s been served a written notice, and his probation period extended for another six months. Naturally, he was switched off for the duration of the short owners stay!
Oh, and guess what? We got that five-star review!
